Contentment in All Things, Except for…

I used to think I was a pretty content person. And then I had a baby.


“When she gets to be 3 months old, I may enjoy it more then. Well, maybe 6 months will be better. You know they say at 1 year things are much more enjoyable.” It seems at every stage so far I have found reasons to be discontented. I’m just waiting for this stage to pass and move on to the next, something bigger and better, easier.

But you know what? It’s not getting easier. I should rephrase that. Some things have gotten easier, but then other difficult things emerge to take their place. I fear there is no end. I have been living in a state of anger, impatience and stressfulness. If you’ve been around me, you may not know it. I internalize very well. But my husband knows it. Poor guy. He’s had to put up with a very irritable, frustrated wife. Something has to change and I fear it’s me. Continue reading

Free E-Book: Broken for a Purpose

Broken for a Purpose – Kindle edition by Gisela Yohannan. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @

Check the price before you download, as it may have changed.

Secret Outlast Completely Clear Gel Review

I was fortunate enough to nab a free sample of Secret Outlast Completely Clear Gel deodorant from BzzAgent. I have been using it for a few weeks now and I have to say I really enjoy it. I was skeptical about how I would like a gel because I have used one in the past and didn’t care for it. I’ve settled into a nice white solid routine.

That being said, I think I would buy this new gel again. Even though it goes on wet, it dries quickly and I didn’t have to worry about any white marks on my clothing at all. That was a huge plus. It also seemed to work well and keep me dry all day long.

The only negatives were that it was hard to get the right amount. It says to turn the knob a few clicks. Sometimes I would turn it and none would come out and other times I would turn it once and too much would come out. Thankfully you can kinda play with the knob to get the desired amount, but that is the one thing that was slightly annoying to me. And I really don’t think it lasts 48 hours as advertised.

But if you are looking for a good deodorant to keep you dry and streak free, this is a good bet. I would definitely purchase once my sample runs out.

If you are interested in free samples check out BzzAgent to see if you qualify for any campaigns. They are not paying me for this review. It’s just my honest opinion after trying the product.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Every year at Thanksgiving we go around and share two things we are thankful for. It’s easy to come up with way more. The only rule is you are not allowed to say a generic friends and family, even though that’s what my grandma says every year. So every year I spend the week of Thanksgiving mulling over what 2 things I would like to share. I have so much to be thankful for this year, but I definitely have an easy top 2. maddieanddaddy

1. My husband. He has been here for me during a really rough time. He has given of himself time and time again and been so patient and gracious with me while I’ve been struggling physically and emotionally. I could not do this parenting thing without him, nor would I want to. I am so thankful for every day I get to spend with him.supermaddie

2. My daughter. She drives me crazy and being a mom is so difficult at times, but I wouldn’t trade her. She brings me great joy and I love her so much. She is a precious gift.

What are you thankful for this year?

Grace for a Worn Out Momma

grace for womI was over tired, stressed and just done. Only I couldn’t be done because I had a baby demanding my attention. All I wanted to do was eat some breakfast in peace. My husband who sat at the table with me was tired as well, having had a rough night from a cold transmitted via our daughter. I didn’t care. He got to leave and I had to stay. He got to get ready to go in peace and eat in peace. His meals weren’t all rushed. I was having a major pity party. Continue reading

Halloween Graveyard Taco Dip

graveyard taco dipI know this is a month behind, but I have been trying out various Pinterest recipes and came across this dip from the chickabug blog. We attended a party at some friends house last month and I tried it out. Very easy to make and very tasty as well. I think the thing that took me the longest was mashing up the avacados. They weren’t quite as ripe as I would have liked, but they still tasted good. And making the gravestones / tree was very easy as well. What a fun idea for making various shapes for other things as well. I’ll store that tid bit for the future. This is just a great tasting dip in general. So even if you don’t make it graveyard style, it’s a great go-to party dip recipe. It’s definitely a keeper!

The Books I Didn’t Read

books not readAs a new parent it is extremely overwhelming. There is suddenly this new life to care for that doesn’t come with a manual. So what’s the first thing you naturally want to do? Read as much as you can about how to take care of this child. The only problem is that there are a million books and they all say something different and often even contradict each other outright. This is a problem. How do you know who is actually right?

This is why I pretty much decided early on I was not going to read a million books. I did take a look at a few books. Mostly on basic baby care – changing, feeding, bathing, what milestones to be looking for. Stuff like that. Currently I have been going through a few books on making the transition to food. But again, it’s mostly for information on how to prepare the food, what types of food and how much rather than technique. And even with that there are differing views on how to present food to your baby.

Ultimately, I decided to forget about what the experts may say because one will contradict another. What sense does that make? I am the expert on my baby and I’m gonna just go with my gut and follow my baby’s lead, and so far it has worked out just fine. If an issue comes up and I need help I will probably check out a few more books and sift through the info to try a few things and see what works.

That isn’t to say books don’t have their place or that asking questions is worthless. Definitely not the case! I am so thankful we have had so many friends and family offer advice or lessons learned. I am thankful we have so much info at our disposal, even if it can be overwhelming. I’m sure I will continue to learn so much from all these avenues. But the best learning will take place in my own home in the everyday-ness of life with Maddie and that’s ok. Especially, since she won’t remember any of this anyway. That brings me comfort :)

Failure to Thrive

failure to thrive

It all began at the doctors office. Poor Maddie and mommy had to endure 4 vaccine shots. I hate these days. I know they are for her good. I know she will survive. But I hate subjecting her to this pain I know she can feel. I wish I could take the shots for her.

As if the shots weren’t hard enough the doctor called for blood work to be done as well, which would mean another shot for the blood to be taken. My little trooper did an amazing job despite all the pain and tears (some from me). But I regress.

The doctor is concerned, understandably so, by Maddie’s weight gain. She has slowed in her weight gain and is still under 13 lbs, just barely and that puts her in the 5% range for weight. Everything else is the 25% range. So she ordered some tests to be done to make sure that there are no underlying health issues going on with her digestive system. They took a urine sample as well which was quite interesting to see for a baby.

As I was waiting for the lab to call us in for the blood work I took a look at the doctors order. There were several tests ordered but what caught my attention and made me choke up and get defensive all at once was this:

Diagnosis: Failure to Thrive

Failure to thrive? Really? No way! This is my baby you are talking about! I felt like I was on the stand defending my motherhood. “She is healthy and thriving. I see her reach milestones every day. She can even sit up all on her own and is practicing for crawling. It’s not like she lays around all day. It’s not like I don’t feed her. I feed her often. I feed her until she’s done. I’ve even started giving her cereal and real food. She has been doing well with that. Sometimes I have to even refill her cereal bowl because she wants more. She’s thin and petite, but have you seen me and my husband? She’s no stick and she’s very active.”

I felt like it was a personal attack on me. Failure to thrive. I am her main food source right now. If she is failing, I am failing. Then come the self-accusations. “What if my milk is no good? What if it’s not nutritious enough for her? What if it’s slowed down and she really isn’t getting enough? Should I have pushed the formula more from the start? How can I make her drink formula that she refuses to drink? Am I really hindering her growth?”

Three words. Failure to thrive. They may not have been intended for my eyes. I know they were not meant to be a personal attack. I know that thriving in the doctors eyes is different than my eyes. But I just want the doctor to change the words and to see that although my baby is small, she is, in fact thriving! I felt like I got my first failing grade as a mother and I have to remind myself that this isn’t going on my permanent record. It won’t be used against me in a court of law. It was an order for blood work to ensure my baby is healthy. And that’s all.

This motherhood business is hard in so many ways. I want to do the best I can for my child and sometimes I don’t know what that is. I find myself praying for wisdom every day in caring for this life. Praying that God will help her, protect her, grow her and teach her despite my mistakes and ignorant parenting. And I know He will. I pray she will thrive, not just physically, but in truly living abundantly in and for Christ.



Just Another of Life’s Comical Situations

I will not gripe because I am practicing gratitude for my home, but I do have to express one of the joys of multi-unit living that I experienced yesterday. Maddie was on the floor playing while I was getting dinner together. I had just broken up some sausage and scooped it into the pan. I used my arm to turn on the faucet to wash my meat infested hands and lo and behold…..nothing. No drips. Nada. What to do?

It was almost comical how terrible the timing was. Not only did I have my hands full of raw meat and no running water, but I had a baby on the floor that I didn’t want to go near until this was remedied. What to do?

The first thing I did was assess the situation. Do I have any water? I had the Keurig container’s blue light shining at me so I knew I had that option, but then I would have to wash the outside of the container too. Hmmmm…..should i just stick my hands in the toilet and wash them first. Is that any better? Which is worse – raw meat hands or toilet hands? It disturbed me that I was even thinking these things. Finally, I remembered we have lots of baby wipes around so I “washed” my hands as best I could with the wipes. Then I extracted some water from the Keurig and went to the bathroom where I proceeded to wash my hands as best as I could with soap and the cup of water.

Once the water came back on I washed again. It was quite the unusual predicament! I guess there was an emergency water shut off, so no signs were posted. At least dinner came out good!

Have you ever found yourself in a similar predicament? What did you do?

Humans: Created in His Image

Image courtesy of  ddpavumba at

Image courtesy of ddpavumba at

What makes us human?

What a loaded question! Some would have you believe that we are just evolved animals, that somehow time and evolutionary anomalies have created an intelligent species such as ourselves. I find this extremely hard to believe, and not just because that’s not at all what the bible teaches. I find it hard to believe because humans are so different from animals that I don’t have the faith to believe that time alone could create the differences. Continue reading